Weekend

Sometimes i feel so out of it. Im tired of bad things happening to my family.When are we going to get a break as a family. Im tired of it all. I just want to go hide in a cave or get in a big brawl. I know that sounds dumb but what is more dumb is all the ish in my life. Why can't i seem to get a handle on it.
This weekend was really hard. I just ran from it and ran right into the old ways of dealing with life. Why do i do this? I want to be better!!!!!

Dads birthday

Today really sucks. I MISS my dad so much!!!!No one understands. I hate today. I dont want it to happen ever again. I want these feeling to go away.

I feel so......

My life just seems to be in a enternal slump. I dont feel good. I haven't been sleeping good. My mom hit her head on the fridge yesterday. I don't know if I am going to get this job at the church. one of my brothers dogs died 2 days ago. Friends are acting wierd. I feel the weight of the world on me.

stupid things

My computer went down for the count last week. Its crazy how of your life is connected with the computer. I was having withdrawels by day two.

feeling

Sometimes I feel too much. I don’t want too anymore. The pain sucks. It’s a part of life. Does it really ever go away?I feel so wore down by all the emotions. I just feel like crying whenever Im alone. That’s when I just put on the headphones and try to deal with it. Most nights when I close my eyes I see my dad laying in bed and taking his last breath. Why did he have to go so soon? Its not fair!

party for my dad

Come celebrate the life of Dennis Riggs. He died far to young. He was amazing husband, father and friend. He loved the lord with all his heart and he is in a better place. A place where cancer and stress cant bother him. The service will be this Friday July 25th at faith chapel in San Diego.

screaming out

These days just suck for me. I’m over it! I’m so tired of my dad being sick. I’m so tired of stupid cancer!!!!! He just got test results back and the treatment has been non-effective. So now he is waiting on one more set of test to see where he goes next. It’s not a positive outlook. I’m also tired of the family stress. It’s out of control. My dad is really sick and all the stress doesn’t help or the stress of his sickness makes is crazy. We need a break through in our family’s life. So now I have finished school and I’m jobless and my dad is dying. Something needs to change. Are you listening God?