humbug

I don’t feel like the holidays yet.

turkey day recap

i hope everyone had a great turkey day. I had fun with boomer. Plus we didnt burn the house down. I will be posting a video shortly which will show me and boomer makeing a thanksgiving meal. I think its going to be a fun wekend too. Im recording my brother and we are laying down tracks in the studio its lots of fun. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Ps go usc

Weekend

Sometimes i feel so out of it. Im tired of bad things happening to my family.When are we going to get a break as a family. Im tired of it all. I just want to go hide in a cave or get in a big brawl. I know that sounds dumb but what is more dumb is all the ish in my life. Why can't i seem to get a handle on it.
This weekend was really hard. I just ran from it and ran right into the old ways of dealing with life. Why do i do this? I want to be better!!!!!

Dads birthday

Today really sucks. I MISS my dad so much!!!!No one understands. I hate today. I dont want it to happen ever again. I want these feeling to go away.

I feel so......

My life just seems to be in a enternal slump. I dont feel good. I haven't been sleeping good. My mom hit her head on the fridge yesterday. I don't know if I am going to get this job at the church. one of my brothers dogs died 2 days ago. Friends are acting wierd. I feel the weight of the world on me.

stupid things

My computer went down for the count last week. Its crazy how of your life is connected with the computer. I was having withdrawels by day two.

feeling

Sometimes I feel too much. I don’t want too anymore. The pain sucks. It’s a part of life. Does it really ever go away?I feel so wore down by all the emotions. I just feel like crying whenever Im alone. That’s when I just put on the headphones and try to deal with it. Most nights when I close my eyes I see my dad laying in bed and taking his last breath. Why did he have to go so soon? Its not fair!