Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I don’t feel like the holidays yet.

Friday, November 28, 2008

turkey day recap

i hope everyone had a great turkey day. I had fun with boomer. Plus we didnt burn the house down. I will be posting a video shortly which will show me and boomer makeing a thanksgiving meal. I think its going to be a fun wekend too. Im recording my brother and we are laying down tracks in the studio its lots of fun. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Ps go usc

Monday, October 20, 2008


Sometimes i feel so out of it. Im tired of bad things happening to my family.When are we going to get a break as a family. Im tired of it all. I just want to go hide in a cave or get in a big brawl. I know that sounds dumb but what is more dumb is all the ish in my life. Why can't i seem to get a handle on it.
This weekend was really hard. I just ran from it and ran right into the old ways of dealing with life. Why do i do this? I want to be better!!!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Dads birthday

Today really sucks. I MISS my dad so much!!!!No one understands. I hate today. I dont want it to happen ever again. I want these feeling to go away.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I feel so......

My life just seems to be in a enternal slump. I dont feel good. I haven't been sleeping good. My mom hit her head on the fridge yesterday. I don't know if I am going to get this job at the church. one of my brothers dogs died 2 days ago. Friends are acting wierd. I feel the weight of the world on me.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

stupid things

My computer went down for the count last week. Its crazy how of your life is connected with the computer. I was having withdrawels by day two.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Sometimes I feel too much. I don’t want too anymore. The pain sucks. It’s a part of life. Does it really ever go away?I feel so wore down by all the emotions. I just feel like crying whenever Im alone. That’s when I just put on the headphones and try to deal with it. Most nights when I close my eyes I see my dad laying in bed and taking his last breath. Why did he have to go so soon? Its not fair!

Monday, July 21, 2008

party for my dad

Come celebrate the life of Dennis Riggs. He died far to young. He was amazing husband, father and friend. He loved the lord with all his heart and he is in a better place. A place where cancer and stress cant bother him. The service will be this Friday July 25th at faith chapel in San Diego.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

screaming out

These days just suck for me. I’m over it! I’m so tired of my dad being sick. I’m so tired of stupid cancer!!!!! He just got test results back and the treatment has been non-effective. So now he is waiting on one more set of test to see where he goes next. It’s not a positive outlook. I’m also tired of the family stress. It’s out of control. My dad is really sick and all the stress doesn’t help or the stress of his sickness makes is crazy. We need a break through in our family’s life. So now I have finished school and I’m jobless and my dad is dying. Something needs to change. Are you listening God?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

upside ----downside

It’s been a rough couple of days. My dad is fighting cancer and got released but he has not been feeling good. I haven’t been feeling good either. Im ready for the summer! But when summer comes it will bring all its own set of problems. Life is crazy! I feel like I’m stuck on a rollercoaster that will never end.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

back to the west

Made it back from the trip to Florida. It was a lot of fun and a great experience. I learned a lot about how to sell myself to other people. This festival was all about networking. We meet a ton of people. It was cool to see how people responded to our film.
We got selected to be A&E indie film spotlight. This is a major honor. We are stoked to be recognized in this way. They cut a commercial of our film and put it on their website. Also they will be running 20 second spots of the film on A&E.
So all in all it was a fun weekend. I’m glad I was able to go. My sister even flew out for it so that was way fun to. The showing of 305 at Newport Beach film festival sold-out in 8 days. Some of the festival organizers said they have never seen a screening sell out like that. So now they gave us a second screening. I’m hoping that we can sell that one out too.

Monday, April 7, 2008

busy and resting

Hi all.
It’s been an exciting last couple of days. I just got back from my senior cruise. It was lots of fun! I have been stressing a lot the last couple of days. My dad is in the hospital again. He is starting new treatment. They found new cancer in him. This sucks a lot! I wish it were all done with. Also I’m getting ready to go to Florida with 305. We leave on Wednesday. I’m stoked and nervous about it. I think we will do well but with my dad being sick it’s had to have fun. I hope he can make my graduation. He wants to come but doesn’t know if he will be able to. I am looking forward to finishing school and getting on with life. But we will see how all that goes.
All right so that’s basically the update and I got to go and do some homework.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

the road dog life

The trip was so amazing. We went to Fargo North Dakota and Ogden Utah for film festivals. We showed our film “305”. I had such a good time. I need it badly. It was really cold in Utah and North Dakota. We got a really good response. The audiences laughed throughout the whole film. I felt really good about it.
At one point we were driving back to Utah from North Dakota and I was sitting in the backbench of the van. I was so tired and sick of the van. But at that moment I felt a complete peace about it. Like I knew I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I was with the right people and doing the right things. I can’t wait for what is in store for me when I finally graduate for vanguard.
A little update on the film we got accepted into the Palm Beach international film festival. That’s huge for us. That’s a top ten-film festival and is really respected. Also we got into Newport Beach film festival. So that is going to be a huge party and all my friends on the west coast have to come. Hopefully we can have the DVD available to sell in May.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Given Up

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the f**k is wrong with me!

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up...
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the f**k is wrong
with me!


Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my...
Put me out of my f**king misery!

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the f**k is
Wrong with me!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

life in general

I feel worried about my life and family. It’s hard not to worry. I can be a control freak sometimes. I hate when people start doing stuff and I feel like I’m being replaced. I just want to be good at what ever I do. This pass week has been tough for me. My dad has been sick and battling cancer and an infection. Those are not combos. The treatment for cancer kills your body’s defenses against being sick so it is harder on you being sick. My family feels like a big stress bowl right. My brother is working my dads company and my mom is struggling with my dad being sick. Meanwhile, I’m trying to finish at school. I have been feeling so depressed lately. It is hard to fight it off. Something needs to change quickly.

Friday, January 18, 2008

screaming til it hurts

Sorry it’s been awhile since I updated the blog. It’s been a rollercoaster of a ride. SO everyone knows about how we were waiting to start the second round of treatment for my dad but we had big problems. Apparently Medicare decided to tell the hospital that my dad was not covered by them for the second round of treatment and he was not covered for the first round. I’m so sick stupid government stuff like this. So my sister knocked down some doors and pimp slap Medicare into covering my dad.
This kind of stuff just makes me so mad. I mean my dad is going toe to toe against a disease that could kill but he also has to battle Medicare. I swear I just to explode on some people. This stuff makes me just want to scream out in anger, pain and sorrow for my dad. That might be the worst part of this journey. I can’t do anything to help my dad with this. I can provide emotional help but a part me wishes that could over this with a snap of the fingers.